What exactly is an attractive asian man, and where can you find him? I’ve spent years traveling the world and it took me ages to discover them.
Where Can You Find An Attractive Asian Man?
Honestly, growing up in Canada and America, I really didn’t see many. I saw plenty of Asians who excelled in academics, athletics, the arts, and public service. Friends and family went to such storied institutions as Penn, Harvard, Stanford, MIT, and Oxford, and then went on to very successful careers in respected professions like medicine, law, pure research, and various branches of business. This is why they call us the “model minority.”
But where were the Asian male sex symbols?
Not in America or Canada, I tell you. Not even in Hollywood movies. Nowadays, you find newer stars who are more representative of the scene in Asia, guys like Takeshi Kaneshiro (can’t believe how the Amped Asia crew missed him and many of the top male stars in Asia), but they certainly haven’t entered mainstream American consciousness yet.
Certainly, asexual martial artists like Jackie Chan, Jet Li, or Bruce Lee would not count as sex symbols. I strongly agree with Rochelle’s opinion of the sex appeal of these otherwise excellent role models. I like Jet Li a lot, particularly after he started spear heading his inspirational One Foundation charity and especially since he’s not a rabidly horny dog like Jackie Chan and Jackie’s son (reports of their philandering ways in KTVs are legion). I guess being raised in a Buddhist monastery can do a boy good, lol. But Jackie and Jet? Sexy they were not.
Only in my second straight year of living in China did I come into contact with true Chinese alpha males. After that, though, I began to see them all over the place.
Simply spending a summer in Asia won’t cut it, although it’s a good start. Unless the average Asian-American has a guide who is really well connected in the local area, it will take him some time to find the local Asian alpha males. They’re like rulers of an underground society, ensconced deeply in their territory.
But once you find one and spend some time with him, you’ll start to spot them more frequently. After all, China is a country of 1.3 billion people. That’s over four times the population of the US. India is nearing 1.2 billion. At least 3-5% of those men in China and India are pulling as much high-quality tail as any man in the West. That’s a lot of guys.
My first extended encounter with a local Chinese alpha male was in the person of the ex-boyfriend of one of my girls in Beijing. The guy lived in a far suburb of Beijing. He had 3-4 toughs along whenever I saw him. He was muscular, tattooed, had a shaved head, wore lots of jade jewelry and liked black clothes, and had an addiction to chewing on toothpicks. He rarely smiled. Whenever he spoke, it seemed like he wasn’t moving his lips. Yet the effect was striking.
To his many girls, he was the sweetest little boy and the perfect gentleman. The contrast was dramatic, enchanting, and sexy. And the girls, when I asked them why they like him so much, said that they appreciated how he was tough with all the guys and the outsiders, but super sweet to them. At last, my first Chinese alpha male. It only took me a year and a half floating aimlessly in China and twenty-nine years of my life to find one.
After that, though, I started to spot them all over China. And I’m not just talking about gangsters. There was a whole range of alpha dudes.
In the Beijing bar district known as Sanlitun, I once saw six or seven extremely tall, young Chinese males surround a taxi in which sat the Chinese cabbie, a white girl, and three white dudes. There were two guys in the group who were at least 6’7”. One of them was maybe even taller. They looked like a college basketball team. One of the dudes was standing at the front of the taxi with one foot on the bumper and grill, preventing the driver from driving out of the small alley. A couple of the other dudes were reaching through the window and grabbing the white guys with one hand while pounding their faces with the other. The white girl was screaming hysterically. There were plenty of white expat chumps just staring at what was going down. The tall Chinese guys finally let the taxi go. By this time, there was a huge crowd on both sides of the street watching. It turns out one of the white dudes had insulted one of the Chinese guys, and things just escalated. Typical. Bar fights aren’t all that uncommon in Beijing. One night at 5AM, I was at a club chatting up a cutie when one of my wings came back holding a paper towel over his bleeding forearm. He just started talking to me as if nothing had happened. Apparently, he had gotten into a fight downstairs and didn’t see that one of the guys was wielding a broken beer bottle. Hilarious. This sort of thing happens all the time in Sanlitun. That’s one of its charms.
What I want you to notice is that there were six dudes easily over six feet tall who were standing up for their pride on a bar street full of white expats. These Chinese guys weren’t Olympians or state sponsored athletes, as far as I could tell, as state athletes have strict curfews and very monitored lives. These dudes were just regular guys, but they were tall. In the US, I often feel short because I’m shorter than average. In southern Asia, I fit in better. But in northern China, I feel just as short as I do in the US. Who says that there aren’t tall, athletic Chinese dudes? Who says that Asian guys don’t have balls?
My first two long-term girlfriends in Beijing both hailed from the north. One was originally from the northwest in Inner Mongolia and the other was originally from the northeast in Jilin. The first was 5’8” (1.73m) and the second was 5’9” (1.75m). They had even taller cousins. They used to tease me about my height (5’7”/1.70m) because all the males in their family were taller, and I was the shortest guy they had ever dated.
A little known fact in the modeling world in China is that there are plenty of Chinese male models over 6’ (1.83m) and female models over 5’10” (1.77m) walking those runways in Beijing. We’re trying to bring some of these runway models down to Singapore 
So, yes, there are a lot of tall people in China. And yes, there are a lot of muscular people in China. In fact, not just in China, but in all of Asia!
But you don’t even have to be all that tall or muscular to turn girls’ heads.
Rochelle held up Brad Pitt as a standard. Let’s look at Brad Pitt for a minute. He’s just barely tall enough to be a male runway model, squeaking in at 5’10” (1.8m). Many of my Chinese guy friends were this height or taller, and many of my girlfriends’ guy friends were taller than this.
He’s muscular, but nowhere near what he would have to be to compete in any bodybuilding competitions. What makes him stand out is his low body fat percentage. That famous look he had in Fight Club wasn’t all that muscular; he was lean, really lean. He bulked up for Troy, but not that much more; he was still lean.
What is universally attractive to women is a low body fat percentage. That’s easier to achieve for ectomorphs like Pitt. The good news for Asians is that genetically, we are predominantly ectomorphs, too.
“Ectomorphs have a light build with small joints and lean muscle. Usually ectomorphs have long thin limbs with stringy muscles. Shoulders tend to be thin with little width. Ectomorphs find it very hard to gain weight. They have a fast metabolism, which burns up calories very quickly. Ectomorphs need a huge amount of calories in order to gain weight.”
The general consensus in online bodybuilding forums is that Pitt is an ectomorph, which makes getting the lean, cut look in Fight Club that much easier. (I am somewhat of a mesomorph myself, which has its advantages, but makes getting the Brad Pitt Fight Club look harder to attain.)
The amount of muscle Brad Pitt had in Fight Club isn’t hard to get. The average, adult skinny Asian guy could get there in a few months of really rigorous training and the right high-protein diet. The hard part is cutting away and keeping off all the fat to get and maintain the lean look. Most of this is accomplished through the right diet. For a very low body fat percentage, you are looking at a very strict diet, not so much in the amount you eat, but in the kind of food and drink you consume.
All of this is achievable for the average Asian man. In fact, ectomorphs have a distinct advantage in getting the cut, lean look. And if it’s true that Asian males tend to be ectomorphs, then all the better for Asian guys!
So, are Asian men just as tall, muscular, and athletic as non-Asian men? Hell, yeah. And I’d argue that they are even more so!
How much does this matter in attracting women? It certainly helps. But if you’ve got the right body language and tonality, that matters much more. Verbal technique can also make a difference. Looks are just one factor.
However, my main reason for writing this is to help Asian-American men fix the way they think of and see themselves. I am here to help you realize your own potential as an Asian man and to see that there are rich resources for you in Asia to build up your “inner game”—the strong, confident attitudes and mindsets that define a man who naturally attracts women. Stand up for yourselves, and take pride in your Asian genes and heritage!
